find it, keep it.

meeeegans @ 2008-03-14T19:23:00

2008-03-14T23:24:35Z

i decided to start using livejournal again. add my new one!

meeeegans @ 2007-06-20T17:07:00

2007-06-20T21:08:51Z

it's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it's really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

meeeegans @ 2007-04-29T16:55:00

2007-04-29T20:56:30Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	Very High
Antisocial Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Disorder:	Very High
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Disorder:	High
Dependent Disorder:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

awesome.

meeeegans @ 2007-04-28T18:44:00

2007-04-28T22:45:24Z

i don't like this at all. feeling so trapped and helpless: i really don't like it.
and there's really not much i can do..

meeeegans @ 2007-04-13T22:00:00

2007-04-14T02:01:54Z

sooo.. what should i update about? my bipolar way of handling things? how one minute i'm fine and the next i'm having a panic attack? how i've never felt this alone in my entire life? whats wrong with me? honestly, i'd like to know.

but maybe its not me. maybe its the people i surround myself with. do they benefit me at all? cause lately i feel like all they do is make me miserable. maybe they're the ones who set off my moodswings and anything else that makes me partially insane. i don't know. i feel like i'm so far away from everything and everyone. i feel socially isolated, while i sit in my bed eating easter candy by myself. cause thats all i've been lately. by myself.

"you alienate yourself because you think you're better than everyone else. thats why you have no friends. you do it to yourself." -direct quote from my mother. and at first i hated her for saying it, but now i'm thinking.. is this true? am i the reason why i stayed home nearly every night of my spring break? i honestly can't say that this is my fault. in the beginning of spring break i made an effort to hang out with certain people and each attempt failed miserably. so after failing multiple times, i just stopped trying. i gave up. i give up.

i'm sorry. i HATE posting entries of me ranting and complaining, but i can't remember the last time i've been this miserable. i hate everything right now. i've never felt so alone. and i used to enjoy being alone every once in awhile, but i guess i've just spent so much time by myself lately that i'm ready to be around everyone or anyone. i just need some sort of attention to remind myself that i'm still somewhat wanted or missed by someone or anyone. anyone.

(although i'm ranting about not having anyone lately, there are those few who always make me feel better no matter what the situation. and i do thank you for that.)

dsgghfdjgfdjgd

2007-04-10T23:04:06Z

oh hey, so... i'm sick of you...

and you...

and especially you.

oh! and fuck you. (and you too)

i'm just really sick of all of you.

and i'm really sick of being second best to everything and everyone.

OR NOT EVEN! third best to everything and everyone!

no wait, fuck that... i'm not even good at all.

meeeegans @ 2007-04-09T02:05:00

2007-04-09T06:07:04Z

my spring break was a waste. theres not really much to say. i was lonely and annoyed and miserable the whole time.

meeeegans @ 2007-03-29T15:20:00

2007-03-29T19:21:42Z

my mom likes to ruin my life.
in the worst way, i wish she didn't give a shit about me and let me do whatever i want. i can take care of myself. i'll feed myself, i already clothe myself, i'll take care of myself. she's not gunna let that happen though. i'm just counting down the days till i can move the fuck out. (for good)

meeeegans @ 2007-03-23T20:30:00

2007-03-24T00:34:56Z

colin: i was like
colin: MEGAN IS THE CHAMPPP
colin: adn you came out and you were lke
colin: i just threw up
colin: lets drink more
colin: and i was SO pumped

bahah<3

meeeegans @ 2007-03-13T09:24:00

2007-03-13T13:26:02Z

time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

meeeegans @ 2007-03-12T22:55:00

2007-03-13T02:56:27Z

grounded. you should all IM me and entertain me. aim- affliictionn

:P

meeeegans @ 2007-03-10T19:04:00

2007-03-11T00:05:14Z

bored-as-shit. idk what i'm painting. eff you, it sucks.

meeeegans @ 2007-03-08T16:30:00

2007-03-08T21:31:43Z

missin him big time

meeeegans @ 2007-03-03T15:15:00

2007-03-03T20:20:01Z

as of now, around 45 people will be partying at my house tonight. and there will be incredible amounts of alcohol. it'll be amazing. i just might die.

meeeegans @ 2006-08-01T00:20:00

2006-08-01T04:21:16Z

Post an ANONYMOUS comment with the following:
1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.
9. After you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you